Day 91: Support for Single Parents

Being a single parent is hard.  Thankfully, my stint only lasted a little over one week.  I am exhausted, and thrilled that John is coming home.  I have missed him and his companionship.  But to be completely honest, I have also missed splitting parenting duties with him.  To be "on" 24-hours a day, meeting Isla's every need, soothing her squawking cries, changing her diapers, preparing meals, entertaining her, and waking up in the middle of the night to feed her, or reposition her, or change her...exhaustion is me.

But while I have been a single parent, I haven't been alone.  I am so grateful for the community that surrounds my family.  Loving parents and siblings.  Caring friends, neighbors, and co-workers.  Our community has stepped in, and let us know that we are not alone.  Both mothers were able to watch Isla on the days that I had to work.  We were able to snuggle in with my parents during the brief snow storm (it lasted only 12 hours).  And dinner plans with friends and family meant the evenings were filled with conversation and laughter.  No, we weren't alone.

My brief stint as single mom has gotten me thinking about those parents that truly are in the single parent role.  Life would be so complicated without a partner to share the load with.  Everything lands on your shoulders.  Everything.  Caring for your children, healthy and sick.  Working.  Making adequate money to pay rent/mortgage, bills, utilities, and food.  Maintaining your house and things so they continue working as they should.  Cooking meals.  Not to mention finding a few minutes for yourself to hopefully maintain sanity.  Life would be extremely challenging, and I can imagine that balls would begin dropping.  Can one parent really juggle all of that on their own?  

I went in search of groups and organizations that are available to support these families.   There are numerous single parent support groups that I found.  I would be fairly certain that most cities in the US have a support group.  But there are also organizations whose whole purpose is to relieve some of the stress, so that the parents and children can be more successful.  At work.  School.  Family.  Life.  Here were a few that I found.

• Project Parachute.  Their mission is to "help single parents by providing childcare scholarships and establishing single parent support programs across the nation.  Project Parachute provides childcare scholarships for single working parents, or for single parents furthering their education.  These scholarships allow the parent to choose a facility they are comfortable with, and in a convenient locations as transportation can be a challenge for single parents."
• The Andre Sobel River of Life Foundation.  For the families with a critically-ill child, "within 24 hours, the Andre Sobel River of Life Foundation helps with urgent expenses to allow single parents to stay at their child's bedside during catastrophic illness."
• The Conchetta House.  A nonprofit that provides free housing for single parents trying to earn a college degree.  Located in Washington state.
  

Good News For Isla (and me!): we have a father and husband that is coming home to us.  A man that loves us, provides for us, and shares life with us while carrying more than his fair share of the load.  And we have a community of family and friends that walk with us, supporting us and loving us.

Good news for single parent families: you don't have to do this without outside help and support.  There are organizations that can assist you and your family, either with emotional support, or more practically with monetary support.  To free you up and allow you the opportunity to finish school, or to work, or to spend time with your family and strengthen those relationships.

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Day 90: Corporate turns Charity

Big corporations get to me a bit.  When it all seems about making a buck, and less about the impact they are making here and around the world, I start to get a little wary.  Not only that, but suddenly an area that once was unique, is instead an identical Main Street to every other major metropolitan and suburban shopping hub.  You know the regulars.  Party City.  Circuit City.  Best Buy.  Target.  Marshals.  Toy'R'Us.  Come shop here, where all your hearts' desires can be met, cheaply.  

But here is a story of one corporation, a food chain, that seems to have stepped out of their corporate office, walked down to the street level, and looked their customers in the eyes.    They saw communities of financially-stable individuals.  Communities of financially-insecure individuals.  All hungry, looking for a meal.  They didn't flinch at what they saw.  Instead, they thought creatively about how they could serve all of their customers fairly.  Here is the story, found at USA Today.
 
"Panera Bread will open a nonprofit restaurant Monday in Portland where customers can pay what they wish for food.

It's the third "Panera Cares" community cafe for the company and its first West Coast location.

Panera opened community cafes last year in Clayton, Mo., and Dearborn, Mich. The restaurants are owned and operated by a nonprofit arm of the national restaurant chain, which receives no profit from the business.

"In some ways it is a test for humanity," said Ron Shaich, founder of Panera who launched the concept for the company. "Will people step up and help each other or will they take advantage?"

So far, people have stepped up. Panera said about 20% of the visitors to the cafes leave more than the suggested amount, 20% leave less and 60% pay what is suggested.

Those who are not able to pay anything do not have to, but the cafe suggests they volunteer their time in support of the organization.

"This is not about a handout," Shaich said. "This is about a hand up, and every one of us has a need for that at some point in our lives."

There are a number of other independent community kitchen formats already in existence around the country such as those in Denver and Salt Lake City. Panera, however, is one the first chain restaurants to make the leap.

The company is converting an existing Panera restaurant in the Hollywood neighborhood into the community cafe format. Panera looked at a number of potential sites around the country but said that it felt the "sensibility" of Portland suited the project. The company also tries to place restaurants in economically diverse neighborhoods that can support the format.

If there is excess revenue, Shaich said it will be reinvested in the community such as using the cafe as a work-training site for at-risk youth.

"I think the people of Portland will do the right thing," Shaich said.

Shaich said he would like to open more community cafes but must see first if the existing sites prove self-sustainable."

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Day 89: Running with Purpose

In London, Joggers Run Errands for the Isolated and Immobile

The Daily GOOD

Lots of people jog for exercise.  And as along as you're going for a run, why not run an errand for someone who needs the help at the same time?  That's the idea behind The Good Gym, an organization that matches runners with less mobile people in their neighborhood who need groceries, other goods, or just some kindness and human contact.  

Runners commit to one run each week, and figure out a time that works for both parties-usually after work or on weekends.  You can see a BBC report on The Good Gym here.

The Good Gym won first prize at the 2008 Social Innovation Camp.  The idea was refined and tested over following years and is now up and running, so to speak, in the Tower Hamlets neighborhood of London.  For the runners, it's a way of combining volunteering with exercise (because who has enough time?) and a way to stay motivated.  For the people they visit-many of whom are elderly and socially isolated-it provides essential human contact and an assurance that someone cares.

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Day 88: We all need hope

Mercy Ships is an organization that I have been interested in for a long time.  I love their philosophy of bringing medical care, free of charge, to under-served people.  A floating hospital, fully equipped with the latest of technology, docking in cities and countries that may never have had access to a doctor, dentist, or surgeon.  The images of faces distorted by large tumors, or congenital deformities, is shocking to most of us here in the United States.  These are things we may never have seen, because with the access to medical care that we have here, these problems would have been addressed long before.

The interventions may be simple or complex, but for many the impact on their life goes way beyond just the medical repair.  A lot of these individuals have led lonely lives, being ostracized from their communities because of their physical differences.  They look scary.  Perhaps they are possessed by a demon.  Avoid them at all costs in case you become afflicted as well.   The surgery not only improves their health, in some cases saving lives, but restores hope and the promise of a future.  Marriage.  A family.  A part in the community.  Mercy Ships is in the business of restoring lives.  Such good news!


Video found at Mercy Ships's website.

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Day 87: Electron Boy to the Rescue!

Just last week I wrote about the power a super-hero can possess, especially for ill children.  Some kids may happen into a cape, and grow into their persona.  Others dream of saving the world their whole life.  Erik Martin, a 13-year-old boy, had a wish to save the world as Electron Boy.  And his wish came true.  Make-A-Wish Foundation created an elaborate scheme to have Erik save Seattle from the forces of Dr. Dark.  And for a day, he was not only a hero, but a hero with super-powers.  

But doesn't every super-hero need a comic book?  Superman, Batman, Spider-man, Wolverine, Wonder Woman.  They all have comic books.  Matt Campbell, an illustrator at Capstone Comics, along with other artists, gave this boy-hero just that.  Using events from Erik's Make-A-Wish day, they created a 12-page comic book where Electron Boy saved the city of Seattle, once again, from the grip of Dr. Dark.   Here is the comic tale of Electron Boy.

        *                                                                       *                                                              *

"Thursday was shaping up to be just another school day for 13-year-old Erik Martin, but then something extraordinary happened: Spider-Man called.

Spider-Man happens to be one of the few people who knows that Erik, too, has a secret identity — he's Electron Boy, a superhero who fights the powers of evil with light.

And Spider-Man needed Erik's help.

Erik, who is living with liver cancer, has always wanted to be a superhero. On Thursday, the regional chapter of the Make-A-Wish Foundation granted him that wish with an elaborate event that involved hundreds of volunteers in Bellevue and Seattle.

The local chapter, which serves four states, grants more than 300 wishes every year to children with life-threatening medical conditions, but only a few of them involve so many participants.

Pulling off a wish like this one required a big story, and a lot of heart. And so, with a note of panic in his voice, Spider-Man explained the dilemma: "Dr. Dark" and "Blackout Boy" had imprisoned the Seattle Sounders in a locker room at Qwest Field. Only Electron Boy could free them.

Erik got into his red-and-blue superhero costume, and called on the powers of Moonshine Maid, who owns a DeLorean sports car. For good measure, more than 20 motorcycle officers from the Bellevue Police Department and King County and Snohomish sheriff's offices escorted Electron Boy to Seattle.

"They shut down 405 — they shut down I-90," marveled Moonshine Maid, aka Misty Peterson. "I thought it would just be me, in the car."

At Qwest Field, Electron Boy was directed by frantic fans to the Sounders locker room, where the entire team was shouting for help behind jammed doors. With a little help from Lightning Lad, the alter ego of local actor Rob Burgess, Erik opened the door with his lightning rod. The Sounders cheered.

"Thank you, Electron Boy," said defender Taylor Graham.

"You saved us!" exclaimed forward Nate Jaqua.

"Good job, big man," said defender Tyrone Marshall. And forward Steve Zakuani mutely bowed his thanks.Electron Boy seemed a little dazed by his powers. Out on Qwest Field, the Sounders gave Erik a hero's congratulations, posed for pictures and gave him a jersey and autographed ball.

Everyone was startled when, overhead, the Jumbotron crackled to life.

"Electron Boy, I am Dr. Dark and this is Blackout Boy," sneered an evil voice, as the villain — Edgar Hansen, and his sidekick Jake Anderson, both of Discovery Channel's "Deadliest Catch" — taunted the young superhero. "We are here to take over Seattle and make it dark!"

On the Jumbotron, a video showed a Puget Sound Electric employee Jim Hutchinson trapped in the top of his bucket truck in front of PSE's Bellevue headquarters. Only Electron Boy could save him.

As Electron Boy's motorcade — the DeLorean, the 25 motorcycle officers and a white limo — rolled through downtown Bellevue, pedestrians stopped in their tracks and pulled out their cameras to take pictures. Clearly, somebody famous was in town. But who could it be?

"It's Electron Boy," Erik's older sister, Charlotte Foote, shouted out the window of the limousine.

More than 250 PSE employees gathered outside the company's headquarters and cheered as Electron Boy freed the trapped worker. "It was so loud, people in office buildings were looking out the window," said Make-A-Wish communications director Jeannette Tarcha.

But Dr. Dark and Blackout Boy were still at large. Electron Boy got a tip that the evil duo were at the Space Needle, where they had disabled the elevator and trapped people on the observation deck. Racing back to Seattle, Electron Boy stepped out of the DeLorean to a cheering crowd of dozens of admirers, and confronted his nemesis.

"How did you find us, Electron Boy?" Dr. Dark demanded.

Erik wordlessly leapt at Dr. Dark with his lightning rod, freezing the villain. Then he unlocked the elevator and freed the people trapped upstairs.

Bellevue police Officer Curtis McIvor snapped handcuffs on Dr. Dark and Blackout Boy, who couldn't resist some last words: "How can we thank you for saving our souls?"

A tiny smile played around Electron Boy's mouth. Just for good measure, he held his lightning sword to Blackout Boy's throat again. The crowd went wild. "Hip-hip, hooray!"

Seattle City Councilwoman Sally Bagshaw stepped forward with a key to the city and a proclamation that Thursday was Electron Boy Day. Afterward, Erik posed for the TV cameras, flexed his muscles and spent some time astride a Bellevue police motorcycle.

"He's over the moon," said Foote. "This is definitely beyond anything we thought it would be."

Watching her son run across the plaza in front of the Space Needle, mom Judy Martin said Erik goes to school when he's able, but is often too tired. "He hasn't had this much energy in a long time," she said. "They called it the power of the wish, and they're right."

Like any good superhero, Electron Boy kept his innermost thoughts to himself. But he did have one important thing to say:

"This is the best day of my life.""  The Seattle Times

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